She would not bear a child. She was at many pathological and medical examinations. She was not satisfied with explanation and findings of all endeavors, and medical transcriptions. She passed many sleepless nights with sketches of bay body forms in mind, as she had seen babies at nearby houses, and neighboring wives, turning to be successful mothers of other families, it was her tears, her pains, her torturing explores. She thought of taking a test tube baby, but the financial conditions was not at the level of competing the score of medical demands, and echo of calling her as mother was a wretched dream to her. She did not cradle her baby, she did not share laughter with the baby, she did not give breast feeding, she did not kiss the tender cheeks of the baby, she did not whisper with the baby. An oceanic empty horizon of love and an exhausted contour of implore.
Thinking so much in the night, she wake up in the very dawn and waited on the lawn, loitering around to see the earth and morning beauty of the first sun in the morning.
Nearby house wives came out in the morning and found her standing on the main gate, and they felt some kind of irritation, and they swiftly finished the work outside the house and entered the house. She became astonished to see these daily faces known ladies suddenly disappeared from the scene like storm, as if they found one string of puppets stretched out before them, that they did not like jump out from their home to cross and work for the day long. And in the yard, she is alone to greet the sun.
Her husband returned from the morning walk, and he was a diabetic, and he went out in very dawn to the nearby football ground to walk bare footed on the grass. He spent nearly one hour in the morning exercise and then returns home.
-“Come home. Listen to me.” Saying so her husband entered home.
She hurriedly followed him, as if some urgency had painted on the dream that preferred her to the calls, and she had to obey or to perform to keep the pain away from her mind, a terror of opening grave, and she had to discover the length of complain after complain. And she was in a workshop wherein she had to work, whereas she was not taught to even gaze at the instruments of the workshop. She could not understand whether it was an asylum or a house of living with bright future and happy dreams.
When she returned to home, her husband did not make any introduction, and speaks straight to her,
-“Please do not stand in the morning on the yard. Local womenfolk do not want to see first face of a woman who cannot give birth of a child. Someone today says this hard truth.”
Saying so, her husband heaved a deep sigh.
She did not believe it. She put one hand on the shoulders of her husband. And pressed her body to sit on the sofa, and seeing so, he sat beside her, and took her in his embrace.
She said nothing, she closed her eyes, something moved violently on her head, and she kept wondering if there was rain of tears into her eyes.